The Mom Space and Verbal Violence

The Mommy Bully.

Yes, you.

I’ve seen you. Read your words.

Your violent, written attacks on women you can’t see.

Women, some I’ve called friends, attempted to end their lives after reading your words.

If even one of those women had been successful in her attempt to die, might it be your fault?

Your uninhibited, inconsiderate words do not make the world a better place.

You are a woman, but still abusing women.

For your own selfish satisfaction. For the sake of a moment of personal power. For entertainment.

Somehow, you love this.

Think about what your words actually mean. Do you even care? You wished her… death. Would you care if she… dies?

Why do I care?

Not long ago, “die@f-ckyou.com” wrote me this message:

“This world would be better off without you. I hope you die”.

Not long ago, it was my face on a meme.

Not long ago, they called me a bad mom.

Not long ago, they wished me… death.

I know courage well.

I believe in imparting courage to others.

So… you… you person behind that keyboard saying whatever you think.

A keyboard and wifi does not give you the right to destroy & abuse women. It doesn’t give you the right to destroy anyone.

My children were there when that email came in. Where were your children?

Sit down.

The Observer.

I don’t want my children to someday ask, “Mom, people were listening to you… why didn’t you say something?”

So, the rest of you. The silent ones. It’s time to shout truth. It’s time to surround the attacked and silence her abuser. Nobody deserves it.

Silence, even silence born of disgust, is approval. Silence is agreement. Silence is deafeningly loud.

Stand up for someone. Say something. Choose to shout in the face of fear and impart courage.

I can. I did. I am.

It’s your turn now.

Speak up, mom. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You were created with purpose.

Do something with that purpose.

Speak beautiful things. Build life. Surround someone. By building life in others, you are building life in you.

Everything costs something. But the risk is worth it.

I will never forget the women who spoke up for me.

#speakupmom #speakbeautiful

Jenn is the Founder and CEO of Cotton Babies. She holds an Executive MBA from Washington University. She was awarded Ernst & Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year award in the Emerging Category for the Central Midwest Region in 2011. Among many other awards, she recently received a 2017 YWCA Leader of Distinction Award for Entrepreneurship. Jenn holds many patents on various inventions in a number of different countries and is listed as one of 50 Missourians You Should Know. She is particularly fascinated by languages, chickens, and children (she has four) when she’s not reading economics journals.

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9 thoughts on “The Mom Space and Verbal Violence

  1. It’s sad that adult women act like this. Even my littlest knows the old “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” spiel. T.H.I.N.K. – is it true, helpful, important, necessary & kind? Are these women raising the next generation of bullies or do they think online/adult bullying different? Or is it “do as I say, not as I do?”

  2. Yep. I know one on Facebook. She said she can “say whatever she wants” because it’s HER facebook wall. She does have similarly minded, also abusive, friends backing her up on her posts. I called her out and got bullied by all of them. Then she blocked me on FB. Best favor to me ever! She is a very angry person on-line and oh-so-fake in real life. I wonder what her kid will grow up to be like :/

  3. When did we become so nasty as people that we have to go out of our way to bully others online. It’s one thing to have opposing views on a topics and have an amicable discourse but to act the way some of these ladies act is horrible.We all need to class up ladies, enough is enough. Jen, just remember…If people are trying to bring you down it’s because you’re above them. .

  4. I wholeheartedly agree with your words. “I’m done watching moms die inside. I’m also done watching moms try to die.” <—this part spoke to me, I was one of the moms, I am one of those moms. I see it everyday, I encounter it everyday. Success in one form or another tends to bring out the ugly side in people towards you. The words are often described as "keeping it real", when truthfully it is just really hurtful. Dissenting opinions can be had without the bullying and being ugly towards other women. We all share the common goal of just raising our children to be happy, healthy and eventually even happier, healthier and product adults.

  5. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately too. What I want to say the most to the people who like to bully other moms is that, just because someone doesn’t do things the way you would doesn’t mean that they are doing things wrong. I’ve had people in real life tell me I’m “doing parenting wrong” because I’m not doing something the same way they would (my parents, old friends). It’s been rather stupid stuff too, like how I decided to babywear instead of using a stroller (because people apparently really care about how I go for a walk), or how I do EC with my child, or how I don’t do cry-it-out sleep training. Everybody has different parenting techniques that work for them & their own unique children. In the end, the child still gets to decide what kind of person they will be, so controlling every detail of how someone else parents their children is rather futile. One person letting their child cry-it-out isn’t going to mess that child up for life, my not letting my child cry-it-out isn’t going to mess him up for life either because both parenting styles teach children how to sleep & deal with emotions, they just teach the same concepts in a different way.